Fresh, chatty, and filled with Tracey Cox's personal tips and hilarious anecdotes, Superflirt takes the reader through the fundamentals of body language, then shows you how to express the messages you want to send and how to read what other bodies are saying to you. Packed with intimate photographs of real-life scenarios, this is the most stylish, elegantly designed, and up-to-date guide to body language available.
What makes someone sexy? Good question! After all, what's sexy to one person is 'Are you kidding?' to another. I'm not entirely sure whether it makes me sad, hopeful or a resourceful workaholic (it's my job, after all, to work with potential), but I can usually find something sexy about practically every person I meet. As evidenced by one (admittedly rather bleary) morning, standing outside a hotel in Bordeaux, waiting for everyone else to get their act together, and trying hard not to be seduced by the posh shop windows. Instead, I got seduced by the sight of a man who sauntered up the street toward me. These French really have got that sexy look mastered, I thought to myself, I mean look at this guy! The slightly dishevelled hair, shirt buttons undone, deliberately unshaven. It's all so well done, it's a little contrived really, I sniffed… Except… what was he doing rummaging around in that rubbish bin? Turned out the dishevelled look wasn't contrived after all. I know there's probably a law against fancying tramps/making any sort of sexual comment about the less financially fortunate, but it is a compliment and it does illustrate my point. Which is this: sex appeal is all about attitude and aura and making the best of what you've got. This guy wasn't waiting for money or status or society's approval before he'd let himself feel sexy. He just was and being seen rummaging in a rubbish bin didn't stop him throwing me a killer smile and saying something which sounded deliciously naughty. (Well, given the only French I know is 'Pardon. Je parle pa Francoise' - Sorry but I can't speak French - it could have been 'Sod off', quite frankly, but it sounded guttural and gorgeous.) There's a lesson in there for all of us.
Of course, what people really mean when they ask 'What makes someone sexy' is 'Am I sexy' and 'How can I be sexier?'. So let's just get right down to it, shall we? Here's the real secrets of sex appeal, along with how you can use the evidence practically to help boost your sex appeal.
You've on the right track if …
• Both sides of you match. The more symmetrical your face and body, the more sexually attractive you are and the more attention you get. It's not the result of nasty brainwashing by society either - even babies go ga-ga for symmetry. Far more manipulative than the media is Mother Nature. She consistently protects the healthiest of the species by making sure those from the strongest gene pool (in this case, the symmetrical) are seen as the most attractive. While no body is ever truly symmetrical (so stop stressing about your left boob/testicle being smaller/lower than the other right now), appearing 'matched' helps immeasurably. Female bodies are actually programmed to appear 30% more symmetrical on the magical high-conception day after ovulation. Not that it matters terribly much if you're symmetrical the rest of the time, mind you: you were probably shagging anyway! People with symmetrical bodies usually lose their virginity much younger and have more sexual partners than their lop-sided friends. (Which supports my own personal theory that the more attractive (aka symmetrical) you are, the more opportunities you have had to have sex and the higher your sexual scorecard. So all you smug bastards who look wide-eyed when asked and say, 'I've only ever had three' could effectively be saying, 'Only three people have asked me'.)
Lesson: Wear matching socks. (Not much else you can do to influence this one).
• You look like your genitals Err, perhaps I'd better explain this one properly. Sex obsessed creatures which we are, anything which reminds us of sex usually gets us going. A female with full, glossy, red lips is a turn-on because her lips mimic what (he fantasises anyway) is hopefully happening elsewhere: the vagina also 'plumps', moistens and darkens in colour when aroused. Phallic shaped foods like courgettes and bananas also subconsciously influence desire. Which goes a long way to explain why a. hotdogs are so popular (let's not even go there about the sauce); b. people cling to the myth about oysters being an aphrodisiac and c. the 'just got out of bed' look never goes out of fashion (we like to imagine anyone attractive in one - with us of course). In the same vein, a 'fertile' face is seen as a beautiful one. Clear, fresh skin, shiny eyes, youthful plump lips, a cold nose (or is that just dogs?) - a healthy-looking face like that tends to come attached to a body which is bursting to conceive. That's right, good old MN again, guiding us to the people most likely to keep the planet populated!
Lesson: Feel zero guilt when spending up big on lipgloss and load it on.
• You've got a big mouth Researchers created computerised versions of the average female face before getting test groups to rate their attractiveness. The first set were awarded an average attractiveness rating. In the next set, researchers increased the eyes and lips by 10% with this result: the faces were seen as younger and more beautiful. Once these features were exaggerated further however, the faces were universally judged as sexier. Look at the makeup on a typical glamour model: lots of heavy eyeliner to enlarge the eyes, pale, pouty lipgloss to accentuate the lips. Exactly the look you should aim for if you want to inspire lust… and if all you're searching for is a short-term fling. If you're after a long-term love affair, then a totally new set of rules apply! Prepare to bury the 'all men are bastards' theory forever (it's ridiculous anyway!): it's personality, not looks, which men go for in a long-term partner. A sexy face might inspire lust, but it's the girl with an average face and a nice personality who hook up long-term with. Why? It's her again! MN wants men to choose women whose idea of heaven is staying at home to raise their babies rather than dancing half-naked on a podium at a dance party.
Lesson: Looks count but it's your personality which makes people stick around.
• You walk young Along with swinging hips and general 'attitude', there's another crucial element to harness if you want to be seen as sex-on-legs: flexibility. Flexibility is what makes people appear to 'walk young' - an instant winner in the sexy stakes, says US human behaviouralist David Lieberman.
Lesson: Loosen those limbs.
• You make pots of money. If the 'all men are bastards' theory isn't true, the 'all women are bitches' one just might be. Countless studies show women continually go for good looks and money and if forced to choose between the two, money wins every time. I strongly objected to this research, convinced it was inaccurate. I'm not money-obsessed and neither are my girlfriends, so I asked a broad selection of men (aged 15-80) what the real story was. I'm embarrassed to report they and all said this is true of 80% of the women they meet. Maybe it's the old baby theory again (he earns enough to support you), I'd rather believe that than greed.
• You look like a girl, even if you're a bloke Just like men, women go for different types depending on what she wants from the relationship. This was again, all rather nicely illustrated by an experiment which allowed women to control the features on a computer generated face. By moving a bar, she could make the man's face more masculine or feminine looking. Most of the time, the feminine face won her heart because they trusted and felt safer with this sort of look. During ovulation, when women are at their most fertile, the sweet guys didn't even get a look in. Bugger nice, they all said, this is about sex, and they pushed the bar in the other direction to choose the most masculine face possible. But it's not just a case of going for the traditional bad boy look at the time when you're most likely to feel like a bit, evolutionary theory says this is the guy with the most testosterone. Which of course means a guy who'll father healthy offspring and be physically strong enough to protect them from the dangers of outside world. Post ovulation, when lust takes a backseat and logic settles in, the women again rejected the masculine men. Then they were voted too aggressive and womanizing: 'a man like that would want lots of sex and seek it elsewhere if he didn't get it at home'.